Anyways, since it's too many to share of DAD moments for the past couple of months, I'll just share where I'm at now...
When I got back from outreach in E.Asia and Japan, I was informed that my visa application to stay here was denied.
The government here in Singapore is currently making it difficult for foreigners to stay as there are some concerns about the growing numbers of foreigners in the land. So this has affected some foreigners in the Y-base who need the visa, and I am one of them.It has indeed affected me.
In the beginning I reacted in an attitude that says: "that's it I'm leaving the country, I'm going to pack and plan the next phase".
As i spent time with Dad, He convicted me that it wasn't right to react that way. As it is known: the hurting people hurt, being hurt by the circumstance, I reacted with a hurt manner too. I repented and find myself slowly picking up the pieces of me. It is really difficult to have the right attitude, which means: I gotta keep living as normal days are like, thinking that I don't have visa problem. It's hard to do it because at the back of my mind I just want to plan other things.
As I shared before that I am going to lead a Young Peoples DTS in January, so living normal days mean I will have to continue preparing that with a heart knowing that the visa may not come through.
How can I focus preparing???
It really sounds crazy to me as all I want to do is to prepare what to do if I didn't get the visa.
But Dad has been speaking to me Psalms 62:My soul will wait on You aloneTo be honest I don't know how it looks like practically but I've got Him to hold on to.
One day my leader asked us this question during a worship session, it was something like: What does it look like when God surprises you?
Two things came to my mind as I quietened my heart and pondered on it:
1. I was so thankful when my friend offered a place to stay for a couple of days to rest.
2. This whole visa situation came with a surprise, too. It has not been easy but there's this JOY inside my heart that took over the pain inside. And I came to realize that He Himself is His surprise in the midst of the struggle.
So I don't know what's going to happen with my current situation. Today we submitted 2nd attempt of visa application, and all I can do is just cling on to Him.
As I'm waiting, I will worship because I know I always have a reason to worship Him for the Person that He is. He is just so worthy to be praised.
If I can describe my condition on a scale from 1-10, I'll probably be at 2, yet I can't NOT worship Him.
There are other things that trouble me besides this visa situation but again it will not take me away from Him. He is with me all the time but I have a choice to be with Him or not. I have chosen to stay in His presence instead of being tossed around by my emotions.
♪ ♫ 10,000 Reasons for my heart to sing♩ ♬
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