HEre I Am...

Whoaaa.. i didn't realize how long i haven't been writing on this blog.
The last time was when i got to go to Perth. =)
I was so amazed how Dad brought me to Perth to do School of Worship (SOW). I spent 2 months in Mexico City for Outreach, and then got back to Singapore last September and went for another outreach to Japan & another 3rd world country last jan. Dad was really amazing.. i just love it whenever He shows me how real He is in circumstances. I love it! He has been working in our team and through us as well. What a privilege!

In Singapore I staffed another school which just ended Feb 4 2010. I feel like i have grown so much in this school despite the fact that i messed up a little bit =) I learned something the hard way.

Staffing the school this time around really have helped me grow in the area of leadership and so much of character moulding (well, I guess it is pretty much what I want) ^_^ One of the things I learned is getting rid of fear of men. I didn’t really realize that it was such a big thing when it comes to leadership. Fear of men can really put us in a place of indecisiveness. Being a sanguine person, I tend to want to create a circumstance where everyone feels fine. I care about people so I tend to see their needs and tend to want to try to meet that need. And I learned it hard here. I came to a point: “this isn’t gonna work. There’s no way everybody would be happy.” People will always have something to say, good or bad, agree or disagree. So, I learned from one of my leaders here that a leader will either give pain or receive pain. Yes, I did experience it. It was painfully fun though =) There are a lot more things I learned here but I guess this is one of the most important lesson for me that I could include in here. It’s about Fearing God, which means, asking what He thinks on anything. I find that Fear of God will lead to security and protection from the heavenly Father.

Since I came back to Singapore, Dad has been teaching me to get back to the Word of God and I’ve been learning to memorize verses. I used to remember verses based on where I highlighted it in the Bible. But He told me to give away my fully beloved highlighted Bible to a friend. So when I got a new Bible I was completely lost in looking for the verses. I wanted to highlight my new Bible but I felt He said not to. So I haven’t been doing it and I’ve started learning to remember the words instead of which part of the Bible it can be found. It’s been really fun. Difficult, I must say. =) And I don’t know why somehow I felt led to doing School of Biblical Studies (SBS). I completely wanted to run away from it when the idea came to mind. I rebuked the thought of it and just refused to say yes to it til I found myself sleepless at night and couldn’t get rid of the thought in my head until I said yes to it and I was able to sleep then. It was so difficult for me because I just couldn’t find myself fit in the method that SBS applies. I just don’t like it! It drives me nuts. I’ve had three separate weeks of a taste of SBS and I just found myself frustrated coz I couldn’t do it. Plus, I just didn’t wanna do it because I wanted to serve, I wanted to go home. But the call to do it got stronger everytime. So, after I said yes to it, later on I kinda asked Him why I should do it. The I began to see why. School of Worship in Perth has helped me relate to Him and understand His heart in a way that I am wired. But this time, SBS will help me with the foundation of the Word, having the understanding of it. To give you a background, I am more of a sensing kind of person. Therefore, often I found myself sense something but then I didn’t really know what it was and I was afraid if it was just my feeling, but then later on I found out from someone’s teaching about the understanding of what I felt before. So, I believe this time, Dad is giving me the chance to know more of Him through the study of the Word. I am so excited. I am still worried about the method and the intensive study of the history and others stuffs about it but I know it is not to harm me, but it is to prosper me (jer 29:11). I am looking forward to it. The theme of my life recently has been: “His strength is perfect when my strength is gone”. I really thank Dad that He gave me grace and privileges to see Him in my circumstances. Many times I cried out to Him when I felt I was all alone but many more times I saw Him came through. It was really amazing. I really want to see more. Recently I watched a movie “Percy Jackson”. It was really a good movie that I felt He was speaking through. It was such a good reminder of how Dad is always with me eventhough sometimes I feel like He isn’t around. I pray that you would always be constantly reminded that He is always around no matter what we feel. All in all, I believe that this season Dad is bringing me to a place of balance of both the spirit and the words. I often found myself moving in senses and hardly able to put understanding so I believe this is what He wants me to do for this season.

Finally, I really want to say thank you for constantly walking with me in the journey that I have been walking. It hasn’t been easy for me but I know it is worth it. Please pray for more perseverance that I would continue run the race of life. I just want to learn more about Him and that I want to live accordingly. I would love to propose to you to journey with me in this new season of my life by partnering with me in being my supporter in prayer to fight this season. I do have some prayer requests in some areas. (Please refer to the column on your right side - PRAY FOR ME section). Those are prayer points i'd love to be prayed for.

Last but not least, I would love you to pray for yourself as you are as important in His eyes. Pray that you will be able to take good care of yourself. Recently Dad has been teaching me to do some self-care. We are to take care of ourselves, to show love to ourselves coz it is so easy that we do a lot of things but then we neglect ourselves. We neglect wanting to give ourselves a chance to enjoy this life. So, please do take time to have fun as our Father really wants us to have fun in the process of everything that we do. If we have fun, then we are refreshed physically, and it’ll lead us to be able to function better and think better, decide better, and many more.. So, what’s your idea of fun? =)



Blessings,
-Lyds-