Let it Snow

I've always dreamed about seeing snow and being on it.
And today is my Dad's birthday and He brought me to see it :)
I am so thrilled. WHich Dad celebrating his own birthday but gives present at the same time?
It is only the Daddy God...

Untitled

Everyone is in some kind of chapter of life.
Sometimes it is so easy to get trapped in the middle of a scene where life all of a sudden becomes so hard that we just wanna walk away from it.
It can be struggles with people, struggles with situations that we find not in accordance with what we picture it in our mind as we step into it.
At first, we thought we were strong enough to face everything
but
reality kicks in.
We are human and we do have weakness.

So we think we are not strong enough.
We want to just let go.
When the wind and the storm seem to be very strong, we start to think: "I am human. I can't handle this."
We're losing strength to hold on.
We're giving ourselves a reason to let go
We seek justification to let go. "I am just human who has limit."
"I think

"What are we holding onto?"
Is it IDEALISM? For me, idealism tells me that things should go this way, now that it is nowhere near there, i don't want it anymore.

Is it Right to be right? It tells me that I am right, the other person is wrong. I have told them and they won't listen so i think i've done my part so that's it.

As for me, as i took time to listen, i heard DAD's voice in my heart: "Why are you here in the first place?"
Then i start to think why I am here in the first place?

And now I'm back in the game... I'll try harder and the good news is always that DAD is with me to give me strength because i know why I'm here.

I gave up once and learned it well.

What about you?

"Where there is no vision, the people perish"
-Proverbs 29:18

I wish...

I wish the air was not so tight..
I wish i could see light..
I wish i had might..
I wish i could take the flight..

I wish...

Please give me sight;
Do give me light;
Pour down your might;
so i could fight...

I guess i should turn on the light,
walk out of the plight,
into the wondrous day so bright,
to win the fight..

Yes, i have you to stand up and fight.

He stood me up on a wide-open field;
I stood there saved—surprised to be loved!

- Psalms 18:19

Flying without wings

yes it is really an opportunity i had.
I tried applying for US visa and three times i was denied US visa. ANd the fourth time i applied during SBS, DAD really brought me through.
Now here i am in LA with my mom. It has been almost two days. I have been enjoying what i have so far. It is really an opportunity to get to know my mom. I got to babysit with her, seeing the life she is living here. THroughout the 28 years of my life, this is probably the closest i've seen her, both physically and emotionally.

Me and my mom are staying in the living room of her friend's house. She's renting her living room coz she can't afford much now. She's working 3,5 hours a day, babysitting.

I didn't expect LA to be as cold as it is now. I was unprepared. But thank GOd, i could use my mom's jacket coz we both are pretty much the same size. (compliment for her, not for me i guess) hahaha.. So yesterday we went downtown getting a blanket. We had tacos that they sell on a truck. It was yummy. $1 each. We both had 2 each.
My mom left only $1 in her wallet. It was pretty surprising for me i almost teared but i held it back.
I don't have loads of $$ but thank God i was given USD20 for the journey from Singapore to LA that i didn;t get to use on the way. And two friends passed me SGD50 each. I will be staying here for 7 weeks. I am really flying without wings here.
Today, i woke up and passed $20 to my mom as she was going for work. She refused it but i insisted and of course i won :)

Anyway, I know My Dad is out there coz he told me as i looked outta the window on the plane before it took off from Singapore airport:
"I am taking you on my pinions. My wings are safe and strong enough to take you places"
So, i am rest assured. I am flying without wings coz i know my Dad's wings are around...

"He will cover you with his pinions, and under His wings you will find refuge; His faithfulness is a shield and buckler" - Psalms 91:4

The whole nine months

WooHoooooo!!
TWEET TWEETTTT!
I have survived 9 months of SBS (School of Biblical Studies).

IT has really been tough for me but it was worth every single pain! :)
For those who do not understand, i am the kind who can't sit still for more than an hour, i gotta keep moving coz i'm a kinesthetic learner. But this SBS is the kinda school whereyou gotta sit and study all day. it is beyond what i could imagine. It was really my DAD up there that has been giving me strength and hope. He is indeed the treasure worth going through 9 months.
After all, the whole nine moths has birthed within me a new person who knows what discipline and self control really means and the greatest treasure is to have a deeper intimacy with DAD through His words like never before. I used to treat the Bible like sleeping pills but now i have a better understanding about it.

9 months are too short to know Him so i believe this is not the end, it is just the beginning of everything coz after knowing, it's time to live it out then we'll figure out that it's the truth not just some nice words.

I got to experience many things in the school. Conflicts, both inner and outer. Inner in terms of battling with myself and questions that i had in my mind, and telling myself to press on when i felt like letting go. Outer conflict would challenges like choosing to show love to others when i feel that they don't deserve it (so conflict with others but it is an opportunity to practice love) Discipline, in terms of telling myself to do something i don't feel like doing but i know it's gonna do good to me. Financial challenge like school fees where i had to pay $2150 per each semester (total 3 semester, you do the math) not to mention the daily expenses.
The 1st semester fee came from someone i don't know through someone that said a donor just wanted to share blessings and i got to be one of the chosen ones to receive it. The 2nd semester fee came from up above (refer to my post below entitled "A LOVE LETTER"). The 3rd fee was quite a story too. I decided to put my camera, the Kenny (refer to prev posts) on ebay so that i could pay up some of the fees. As i was dealing with some potential customers on ebay, sending the current pics of the camera to one of them in the morning, later in the evening one couple texted me saying that they were sending my schoolfee. I broke down and cried because i was so ready to say g'bye to my camera. That was really amazing.

On top of that, one of my great friends came to SIngapore struggling and fighting cancer. I was helping her and saw how God worked in her and through her. I got to learn so much from her and God in the situations. She passed away. But God is amazing and her life was a testimony coz she said (refer to the word in english on the botttom part of the pic):

That was one heck of experience too.

So, the whole nine months have taught me tons!
If I turned back time, i still would do it all over again...

"Not that I have already obtained all this, or have already been made perfect, but i press on to take hold od that for which Christ Jesus took hold of me, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the foal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Jesus Christ Jesus. Let us live up to what we have already attained" -Philippians 3:12-14,16