Am I strong enough?

Today i'm strong, the next day i am not, then another day I'm alright again.
am, am not, am, am not.
I am so sick of this pattern. How to actually stay strong?

Well, the thing is, there is never a day I won't find something that is not discouraging.
BUT the good news is I know where i can find my strength.

I know that I can never live a day without that strength.
Knowing that He is always there gives me security.
The security enables me to make my choice,
either to get down or to get up.
It is really not about how much i get hit,
but it is about how much i can get hit and keep going forward.

--When i thought, "My foot slips," your steadfast love, O Lord, held me up--
Psalms 94:18

It is I

I have feelings,
I have emotions,
I have ups and downs,
I do.

I speak my mind,
I love me,
I love people,

I love.

I see,
I smell,
I perceive,
I think,
I do.

And i just have one heart.
Breakable...
was broken indeed..
Restored, renewed...

I ... more.

Pave the way

I was given a chance to usher people into worship today.
Me, G and my living friend, Jasmin (haha), got the chance to do so.
I was so amazed at how Dad worked thru us today.

I felt to speak out to the group about specific thing and led them into some kind of response, so i did.
Gosh, it was so beautiful to see it. I got to see people responded to the Lord in a beautiful way that you just can't help but thanking Him and loving Him more.
It somehow paved the way for Dad to move and His people to stand and run to Him and find Him running towards them as well. Some cried and responded to take His hand to trust Him..

i went home, walking, feeling so overwhelmed with the love i witnessed today.
Gosh, you won't believe this, as i am typing this, my i-tunes is actually playing and as i typed paved the way, this voice was playing on my i-tunes, "Lydia, you build stepping stones".

I completely forgot about these words spoken over me by Jeff Littleton a few years ago.
Wow.. thank you for the privilege of being able to walk in it, Dad.. Thank you for guiding me.. Keep guiding me please..

Anyway, guys, i pray that you'll pave the way for Him, too, in anything and everything that you do.

Let's pave the way..

"Lift up your heads, open the door, let the King od Glory come in"
-Psalms 24

A journey of . . . (my fam's update, too)

Hmm..
It's been almost a month and a half since my family has been going through that issue of our house and financial situation.
When all these things were pretty much unstable, i felt DAD was really showing me His Bigness and Goodness. He simply told me to be still and trust in Him. It was a real challenge for me as i felt so bad not being able to be with my family. So, i really learned to surrender and put my trust completely to Him. Well, then, YES, indeed He has showed me His faithfulness over and over again. I was able to be still and focus on my study and He is taking care of my family. So far the auction is NOT happening and the little fried chicken tent that we started a month ago has been going on pretty good. The first week we sold average 4-6pcs daily. Now for the past 3 days, DAD sent people to buy chicken with average selling 40 pcs a day! isn't HE awesome!?! I pray that this little business will go well. Thank you so much for praying!

Anyway, as for my situation in the school, God has been teaching me a lOT. I can't explain one by one here, but yes, i began to love this and enjoying the school as much as i could learn. This has brought me closer to Him in many ways as well as enriching me in so many ways, too.

As i am trusting DAD, He has been showing me His love through my personal worship as He spoke to me. Amazingly, he showed His tangible love, too, to confirm what i've received through my personal time with Him. I've recently received a guitar, too! Woww. a 2nd hand guitar but it is really nice. It was NICELY what i've wanted in a guitar. I didn't know who it was from until now. BUt i know it was DAD.

I really thank Him for everything.. Pheww.
Anyways, please continue to pray for me so i can finish this race.
Thank you so much for having stood by me in ways you could whether in prayers or any other ways. i really appreciate it so much.

Lastly, i have learned to really go deep in finding His heartbeat and to respond in ways i could. I would find myself wake up in the middle of the night praying for some people or even a country that the next thing i know, they or the country went through some stuffs.

I really learned to just do it as i hear. As i learn: "So what if I'm wrong?" As long as it is not a criminal stuffs, if it's to pray and to bless others, then I'll just do it. It is a journey to hear His heartbeat.

I trip over, stumble, fall, and pick myself up again.

love,
-Lyds

"The Lord is gracious, compassionate, slow to anger, and rich in love"

What a great reminder..

I felt a jump within me as i heard someone taught 2 years ago. He said something like this:
"Have the awareness of God's presence that constantly is with us"
I began to ask myself: "how to be aware of his presence?"
Then I watched this movie and i learned so much out of it.
Now that i've watched it thousand times yet still i am enriched as always..
Having the awareness of God's presence is basically having the heart that desires to see Him in our daily life, everywhere we go, in everything we see or do..
That way it helps a lot to open the eyes of our heart. Daily i'm asking: "What do you want to show me?", "What do you have today that i need to know?"

Today as i watched again, a line in the movie goes like this: "What's stopping you from coming to me?"

Introducing Kenny...

today my friend randomly told me:
"hey today is a happy day right?" and i quickly said: "yes it is!"
Then, smiling, my friend replied: "Jesus has a gift for you."


Yes, i got this today! Isn't He amazing????

James 1:17
"Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of lights.."